The suicide of Robin Williams triggered old suicide demons of my own. I have battled depression my whole life. There have been ebbs and tides to the rhythm of my depression. Some days and months I am centered and happy and other days I'm caught up in a whirlwind of angst. Most of my depression has been centered around, like most black women; financial woes or poverty, low self-esteem, battling demons from childhood issues, and reaching for those seemingly impossible dreams.Hopelessness, rage, disconnectedness, and a broken spirit can also feed into that demon called SUICIDE. Every time I would experience another disappointment or felt like things would never change or get better; SUICIDE would tap me on the shoulder and say, "I know an easy way out of this mess." SUICIDE dogged me at every turn throughout my life. Sometimes I verbally threatened to do it to a friend in angst, but most times it would over take my thoughts and haunt me. But I weathered the SUICIDE STORM and when the sun came up again, somehow I resolved to dig in my heels and face another day.
Now, I can say when life deals me a rotten card, I don't automatically think that SUICIDE is the answer. When things go wrong, it's no longer the end of the world for me. Through prayer, I have established a relationship with God and the Universe, and my faith has increased substantially. My meditation practice has helped to reduce my depression and anxiety, and ease my stress levels. It also increased my capacity for compassion and empathy not only for myself, but others as well. Yoga has helped my sleep, improved my self-esteem, and given me more energy.
Depression and suicidal thoughts are very real and unfortunately, many people on this planet deal with it everyday. SUICIDE doesn't care if you are rich, famous, poor, black, white, gay or straight. It's an equal opportunity demon. But, baby let me tell you - with all of its trials, angst, and sorrows - Life is still worth living.! Don't give up! Dig in your heels and say yes to life!
SOURCES AND HELP:
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
www.veteranscrisisline.net/
www.helpguide.org/mental/suicide_help.htm
studentsagainstdepression.org/get
www.samaritans.org
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should be used without clearance from your physician or mental health care
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