SUICIDE

The suicide of Robin Williams triggered old suicide demons of my own. I have battled depression my whole life.  There have been ebbs and tides to the rhythm of my depression. Some days and months I am centered and happy and other days I'm caught up in a whirlwind of angst.  Most of my depression has been centered around, like most black women; financial woes or poverty, low self-esteem, battling demons from childhood issues, and reaching for those seemingly impossible dreams.

Hopelessness, rage, disconnectedness, and a broken spirit can also feed into that demon called SUICIDE.  Every time I would experience another disappointment or felt like things would never change or get better; SUICIDE would tap me on the shoulder and say, "I know an easy way out of this mess."  SUICIDE dogged me at every turn throughout my life.  Sometimes I verbally threatened to do it to a friend in angst, but most times it would over take my thoughts and haunt me. But I weathered the SUICIDE STORM and when the sun came up again, somehow I resolved to dig in my heels and face another day.

Now, I can say when life deals me a rotten card, I don't automatically think that SUICIDE is the answer. When things go wrong, it's no longer the end of the world for me. Through prayer, I have established a relationship with God and the Universe, and my faith has increased substantially. My meditation practice has helped to reduce my depression and anxiety, and ease my stress levels. It also increased my capacity for compassion and empathy not only for myself, but others as well. Yoga has helped my sleep, improved my self-esteem, and given me more energy.

Depression and suicidal thoughts are very real and unfortunately, many people on this planet deal with it everyday. SUICIDE doesn't care if you are rich, famous, poor, black, white, gay or straight.  It's an equal opportunity demon.  But, baby let me tell you - with all of its trials, angst, and sorrows - Life is still worth living.!  Don't give up! Dig in your heels and say yes to life!



SOURCES AND HELP:
www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org
www.veteranscrisisline.net/‎
www.helpguide.org/mental/suicide_help.htm
studentsagainstdepression.org/get
www.samaritans.org 

The Blog, Black and Blue is not a substitute for direct, personal, professional mental medical care and diagnosis. None of the advice, or natural therapies and supplements mentioned should be used without clearance from your physician or mental health care provider. The information contained within this blog is not intended to provide specific physical or mental health advice, or any other advice whatsoever, for any individual or company and should not be relied upon in that regard. I am not a licensed mental health therapist and nothing on this website should be misconstrued to mean otherwise.

THE NEGATIVE AFFECTS OF DENYING YOUR CREATIVITY

Many, many years ago, I walked away. from a dance career and ultimately my creativity when I left an audition for the Academy Awards in tears. I had blown the audition. Claude Thompson – master instructor and choreographer, was in charge of the audition and choreography of the awards show. 
I had taken many master classes with Claude and I knew his technique and style.  He even looked at me quizzically afterwards. I stumbled out of the audition blind from the tears that coursed down my face. 

Many years later, I am feeling the affects of denying my creativity and the many gifts God bestowed on me.  Fear, rage, and depression have kept me from drawing, teaching and choreographing dance, and singing. The only creative thing I have done was write; which is not enough for me.  As a result, I have experienced swollen glands and throat, tooth and gum problems, and pain in my jaw, and stuttering.

Chakras are energy centers that are spread throughout the body. There are seven chakras that interact with one another.  When they are out of sync, they can impact us negatively - emotionally, physically, and psychologically. Each chakra is associated with particular functions within the body and with specific life issues and the way we handle them, both inside ourselves and in our interactions with the world. As centers of force, chakras can be thought of as sites where we receive, absorb, and distribute life energies. Through external situations and internal habits, such as long-held physical tension and limiting self-concepts, a chakra can become either deficient or excessive—and therefore imbalanced.

The throat chakra governs self - expression, communication of feelings, speaking the truth, and holding secrets.  When the throat chakra is out of whack; it can affect your creativity, open the door for addictions, and negatively influence your decision, faith, and criticism monitors.  Anger is also stored in the throat.

Fear of retribution often kept me from expressing myself at my work and living situations.  Now I am more honest with myself and others, I journal, blog, and express my self more creatively.  I am planning a space in my new apartment that I am moving into just for my creative projects.  Do not deny your creativity!  Express yourself.  Do not allow depression, rage, and fear stop you from being an authentic, creative, and purposeful human being!

SOURCES:  www.eclecticenergies.com

                     www.mindbodygreen.com

                     www.healing.about.com/od/chakratheseven/a/study7chakras

                     www.threeheartscompany.com/chakra

                     www.yogajournal.com

          

 

The Blog, Black and Blue is not a substitute for direct, personal, professional mental medical care and diagnosis. None of the advice, or natural therapies and supplements mentioned should be used without clearance from your physician or mental health care provider. The information contained within this blog is not intended to provide specific physical or mental health advice, or any other advice whatsoever, for any individual or company and should not be relied upon in that regard. I am not a licensed mental health therapist and nothing on this website should be misconstrued to mean otherwise.

Like A Vampire

I have a friend who suffers from depression. When I first met him, he always talked about how depressed he is. He is often lethargic, his voice monotone, and speaking seems to be an effort for him. He sleeps all day and is up all night. He lives like a vampire; venturing out to get something to eat and go to the movies every night - only to be awash in darkness again. He only goes out into daylight for emergencies or if he can’t sleep. He sometimes makes thrice weekly forays to Magnolia Bakery or Amy’s Bread for their cookies and cupcakes.

I have told him that he won’t be able to sleep away his depression. It will only get worse. I reminded him that he is always talking about how depressed he is and maybe he should talk to his therapist about his meds. I also told him that he needed to get up and get out into the day. Get at least a half hour of sunlight, exercise, eat better, and take Vitamin B Stress and Vitamin D for starters. Sometimes, I just want to shake him and tell him to snap out of it.


But, then I remember not too long ago, I was in the same predicament. I too would sleep all day and stay up all night. Daily eat dessert for the temporary high sugar would give me. Play hours of Scrabble and Spider Solitaire on my computer far into the night. When I finally got up, the sun would be going down, and I too walked the streets of Manhattan like a vampire.


Depression can envelope you in a dark and murky haze. Color your sensibilities in a negative prism that shatters your ability to see anything straight or think rationally. I just hope he doesn’t one day wake up and realize the hours, months, and years he has lost to depression like I have. I can only pray for him and guide him the best way I know, in hope that he will one day take the necessary steps to get better.

Not Recession Proof

White America as a whole has a much healthier attitude towards depression - since so many of them are now on anti-depressants and going to therapy; especially in the last twenty years. And now with the economy continuing to tank, mental health professionals have seen a marked increase in people seeking help.

But, there is still a stigma against many of us in the black community who admits to taking medication or being in therapy. Many of us still view a depressed black woman or man as being weak, having a lack of faith in God, or just plain crazy. Depression or mental illness are still seen as a white man's disease.

I am frightened to think how little resources we have in the black community when it comes to getting the help we need and how those resources are probably strained or have been decreased because of this recession. I'm sure that many of us who can't afford medication or therapy are probably resorting to self - medicating with food, drugs, and or alcohol to deal with our financial, career, and family issues that impact us emotionally, psychologically, mentally, physically, and spiritually.

Essences of Flowers

Years ago, back in the early 80’s, an actor walked into the office where I was working. At that time I was a Sub-Agent – an assistant to an Entertainment Agent. I must have looked depressed because he said as much. He opened his bag and pulled out a glass vial with a stopper and told me to stick out my tongue. I did as asked, don’t ask me why. He put of couple of drops of liquid on my tongue and informed me that I would feel better very soon. And, surprisingly I did. I asked him what he gave me and he answered, "Bach Flower Essences."I had heard of Bach, being into herbs and all, but had never tried them. Many years later, I re-discovered Bach Remedies while researching natural solutions for depression. I’m sorry that I didn’t take heed from that gentleman many years ago. I certainly could have used these natural medicines that are used to balance negative mental stress and emotions a long time ago. English physician and homeopath, Edward Bach, developed the essences in the 1930’s, to remedy emotional and spiritual conditions such as depression, anxiety, insomnia, and stress. Bach believed that illness was a result of the contradictions between the purposes of the soul and the personality’s point of view – which can lead to negative moods and blocking of energy - which can cause disharmony in the mind, and eventually physical ailments. He developed 38 remedies with each directed at a specific emotional state. You can combine the essences and the way to do it is shown on their websites. Rescue Remedy is one of the most popular of the essences, because of its combinations of flowers and its fast action on stress, anxiety, panic attacks, and emergency situations. Some of the remedies for Depression are:
Gentian – when we feel like giving up
Gorse – when we feel like things will not improve
Sweet Chestnut – for deep despair
Mustard – when one is unhappy, feeling gloomy, and depressed for no reason
Willow - for self-pity and resentment

Resources:http://www.bachflower.com/
www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bach_Flower_remedies
http://www.bachcentre.com/

http://www.bachremedies.com/

The Anti - Depressant Cocktail

When I bought the book, "When Your Body Gets The Blues" I was skeptical, but there were formulas for getting enough sunlight, exercise, and taking vitamins that made sense to me. I know when I took the B vitamins in the past - they lessened my stress levels, but also improved my mood.

I decided to try the LEVITY formula along with the other suggestions in the book. Soon, I found that I didn't eat as much late at night, I slept better, and I had more energy, and my depression lessened. Research has shown that taking vitamins in higher dosages may offer many health benefits.

The main component of the program are the essential B Vitamins, Folic Acid, Vitamin D, and Selenium. This formula was expressly designed with women in mind. Researchers found that women performed better on the tests than men, when given the LEVITY formula.

Vitamin B1, also known as thiamin – involves the production of acetytcholine ( a chemical that your brain stores and retrieves information) and protects your nerve fibers. It also helps your body metabolize carbs and proteins, which are essential sources of energy.

Vitamin B2, also known as riboflavin, assists your body in the production of serotonin, norepinephrine, and dopamine – all chemicals that contribute to a sense of well-being and clearer thinking.

Vitamin B6 is also beneficial for the production of serotonin – the feel good hormone and DHA – a type of omega -3 fatty acid. Researchers have found that B6 improves the mood, promotes sleep, and improves thinking.

Many women are likely to be deficient in Folic Acid , including those who are age 55 and older, who have HIV/AIDS, chronic fatigue syndrome, alcohol dependency, and rheumatoid arthritis. Many Black and Latin women are especially at risk, due to poor diets. According to revolutionhealth.com, Folic Acid deficiency has been found among people with depression and has been linked to poor response to antidepressant treatment. Folate supplements have been used for enhancing treatment response to antidepressants. Folic Acid also assists in improving mood by helping your body produce SAM –E – a natural antidepressant.

Vitamin D stimulates the production of serotonin and release, which is needed, since so few of us get enough sunlight. Exposure to sunlight gives us the essential Vitamin D for well being.

Selenium can improve your mood with in two and a half weeks. It also enhances the dopamine activity in ones brain – which in turn increases sense of pleasure. Studies have shown that selenium may also reduce the risk of cancer.
If you combine the LEVITY formula with daily walks along with exposure to the sun, you should experience a greater sense of well being and a lessening of your depression.

The Benefits of the Right Nutrients
Increased serotonin and dopamine production
Increased feelings of clearheadedness and composure
Higher energy levels
Fewer symptoms of PMS ( in some women)
Enhanced effectiveness of prescription antidepressants
Relief from the symptoms of winter depression
Reduced risk of cancer and cardiovascular disease

If you have three or more or the following symptoms you may have the Body Blues:

• Eating too much and gaining weight
• Low energy
• Irritability or tension
• Sleep difficulties
• Difficulty concentrating
• Daytime drowsiness
• Decreased interest in sex
• Mild anxiety
• Mild depression
• Heightened sensitivity to rejection or criticism

LEVITY Program - Light, Exercise, and Vitamin Intevention Therapy

1. Light- Getting more very bright light during the day, but less at night.

2. Exercise -Going for a brisk outdoor walk, 20 minutes a day, five days a week.

3. Vitamins & Minerals - Taking the LEVITY Formula.

Sources:
When Your Body Gets The Blues by Marie-Annette Brown, Ph.D., R.N., and Jo Robinson
http://www.geneva-health.com/
Call 1-800-610-0542


This blog is not intended to diagnose, treat, care or prevent any disease.

Prayer for Depression

Dear God,

I feel such pain, anxiety and depression.

I know this is not Your will for me, and yet my mind is held in chains by fear and paranoia.

I surrender my life, right now to You.

Take the entire mess, all of it, now too complicated to explain to anyone but known by You in each detail.

Do what I cannot do.

Lift me up.

Give me a new chance.

Show me a new light.

Make me a new person.

Dear God,

This depression frightens me.

Dear God,

Please bring me peace.

Amen

Marianne Williamson from "Illuminata"

Naturally

I inadvertently went off anti-depressants a couple of years ago. I was in between health insurances – waiting for the new one to kick in– when I started tapering my meds to make them last. Soon I realized that I wasn't having the usual effects I experience when I don’t take the meds as prescribed – the electric zaps one can feel in their head. Even though I had an appointment to see my shrink and get a new prescription, I didn't keep it. I decided that I was going off of the Zoloft and Wellbutrin I was on.

I had been off and on meds since the late 1980’s. First Prozac - which was popular in the late 80’s – then Celexa, Effexor, Zoloft and Wellbutrin - each at different times. Finding the right medication is akin to finding the right therapist. It takes time, patience, and tenacity. It was the beginning of a new year and a new job for me - so it seemed appropriate.

I also decided to clean out the toxins from the meds by drinking Aloe Vera juice; which I believe, also assisted in helping me lose weight. I started eating healthier; stopped drinking soda, ate more veggies and fruits, cut my juices with mineral water, and cut way back on sugar and starches.

I put on my Walkman and walked for an hour every night. The bloat and weight from the years of medication and overeating started to melt away. My cholesterol numbers dropped down to normal and so did my blood pressure. I started looking like the old Carmen again.

But, I also started feeling emotions that had been buried deep underneath the medications that kept me aloft, stable, and emotionless. I experienced joy and sadness. I could cry over any little thing; which was welcome since the meds seemed to dry up my emotions and tears.

But, about six months into my newness, I started feeling anxious. I woke up with my stomach in knots and nausea. Doom and gloom plagued my thoughts of the present and future. What the hell was this? It was anxiety! The depression had dissipated, but now I was dealing with anxiety, I had forgotten that I was also taking medication for. But, I was determined to do it naturally.

I have always been a proponent of using herbal remedies, having read the Bible of herbology “Back to Eden” some forty years ago. Twenty years ago, I wasn't so sure that herbal remedies would have helped me, when I started on Prozac. There are tinctures, teas, tablets, and capsules filled with singular or combinations of herbs to help depression and anxiety. Certain vitamins can lesson stress and anxiety.

Exercise, yoga, meditation also can alleviate the stressors that contribute to depression, and can boost that much needed serotonin –the feel good hormone that contributes to emotional well being. Two years later, I’m still Prozac free. And I’m doing it naturally. I will discuss what I’m doing in the next few blogs.

The Bare Facts

According to Psychology Information Online:

Depressive disorders come in different forms. There are several different diagnoses for depression, mostly determined by the intensity of the symptoms, the duration of the symptoms, and the specific cause of the symptoms, if that is known.

Major Depression - This is the most serious type of depression, in terms of number of symptoms and severity of symptoms, but there are significant individual differences in the symptoms and severity. You do not need to feel suicidal to have a major depression, and you do not need to have a history of hospitalizations either, although both of these factors are present in some people with major depression. There is no official diagnosis of "moderate depression."

Dysthymic Disorder - This refers to a low to moderate level of depression that persists for at least two years, and often longer. While the symptoms are not as severe as a major depression, they are more enduring and resistant to treatment. Some people with dysthymia develop a major depression at some time during the course of their depression.

Unspecified Depression - This category is used to help researchers who are studying other specific types of depression, and do not want their data confounded with marginal diagnoses. It includes people with a serious depression, but not quite severe enough to have a diagnosis of a major depression. It also includes people with chronic, moderate depression, which has not been present long enough for a diagnosis of a Dysthymic disorder. (You get the idea!)

Adjustment Disorder, with Depression - This category describes depression that occurs in response to a major life stressor or crisis.

Bipolar Depression - This type includes both high and low mood swings, as well as a variety of other significant symptoms not present in other depressions.

Psychotherapy
Psychological treatment of depression (psychotherapy) assists the depressed individual in several ways.

First, supportive counseling helps ease the pain of depression, and addresses the feelings of hopelessness that accompany depression.

Second, cognitive therapy changes the pessimistic ideas, unrealistic expectations, and overly critical self-evaluations that create depression and sustain it. Cognitive therapy helps the depressed person recognize which life problems are critical, and which are minor. It also helps him/her to develop positive life goals, and a more positive self-assessment.

Third, problem solving therapy changes the areas of the person's life that are creating significant stress, and contributing to the depression. This may require behavioral therapy to develop better coping skills, or interpersonal therapy, to assist in solving relationship problems.

Unfortunately, many poorly trained counselors never move beyond providing supportive counseling. This alone will not eliminate the depression. As a result, the depression, and the therapy, continues indefinitely, with little improvement. Supportive counseling "feels" helpful, and as part of the overall treatment plan does help.

But, unless the depressed person makes critical life changes, the depression will continue. These changes are both internal and external. Internal changes are usually needed in problem assessment, self-evaluation, the evaluation of others, and the expectations the depressed person has for himself/herself, others and about life. External changes may be needed in problem solving skills, stress management, communication skills, life management skills, and the skills needed to develop and sustain relationships.

The length of treatment will vary, according to the severity of the depression, and the number and kind of life problems that need to be addressed. Most people will begin to experience some relief with 6 to 10 sessions, and approximately 70-80% of those treated notice significant improvement within 20-30 sessions.

Mild depression may be treated in less sessions, and more significant depression may require extended treatment. Treatment sessions are usually scheduled once per week, although they may be scheduled more frequently initially, or if the person is experiencing significant life crises.

Medication
Except in the more severe depressions, and bipolar depression, medication is usually an option, rather than a necessity. Antidepressant medication does not cure depression, it only helps you to feel better by controlling certain symptoms. If you are depressed because of life problems, such as relationship conflicts, divorce, loss of a loved one, job pressures, financial crises, serious medical problems in yourself or a family member, legal problems, or problems with your children, taking a pill will not make those problems go away.

However, some symptoms of depression, such as sleep and appetite disturbances, significant concentration problems, and chronic fatigue, interfere with your ability to make the life changes necessary to eliminate the depression. In more serious depression, suicidal thoughts and urges, and preoccupation with death, may require medication in addition to psychotherapy.

Antidepressant medication can help relieve those symptoms, and allow you to make needed life changes. The decision to take medication, in addition to participating in psychological treatment, should be discussed with your treating psychologist and your primary care physician.

Your thoughts and feelings regarding medication, after considering information about both the benefits and risks involved, are an important part of a collaborative treatment approach between psychologist and client. If medication is part of your treatment, either your primary care physician or a psychiatrist will supervise the medical part of your treatment, while you continue psychotherapy with a psychologist.

If you have a chronic medical condition or a serious illness, and you are taking medication for that condition, then the medical specialist treating that problem should be involved in your treatment. The medical specialist may supervise all of your medications, or coordinate the medical treatment with the physician providing the antidepressant medications.

Stigmata

I have to force myself to write this blog. It's hard to write about it, even though I have suffered from depression for years. I know the stigma and shame of being female, black, and blue. I admit I’m afraid of being judged, vilified, or laughed at. We as black people often look askance at each other if one brings up the subject. But, most often we don’t talk about it. Like many of the issues we don’t talk about in our community; homosexuality, AIDS, incest or sexual abuse – we choose to ignore it or vilify the victim instead.
I didn’t talk to my mother about my depression. I didn’t talk to her about a lot of things that a mother and daughter should talk about. We didn’t have that kind of relationship. I didn’t talk about it with either of my grandmother’s – both of whom I was closer to than my own mother. From my mother’s mother – I learned how cook – mouth watering greens - picking fresh dandelions from the yard to add to the pot; fried fish seasoned like they do down in New Orleans, and succulent, tender baked chicken, and cornbread. I also learned a lot about men from her. “Don’t let a man know too soon that you’re interested in him. Let him tell you first,” she would tell me, while we worked in her small hot kitchen that smelled of hot cross buns, sweet potato, strawberry rhubarb, and lemon meringue pies and pound cakes. But, I never discussed with her the overwhelming sadness and depression that had begin to plague me in my teen years.
Nor did I discuss my sadness with my father’s mother who was a Pentecostal minister. I grew up saying morning and evening prayers with her on our knees side by side. I knew she would start quoting scriptures and tell me to pray about it instead. But, I needed someone to talk to me about the feelings I was having. I wasn’t ready to take it to the Lord yet.
And I never talked about it with my Aunt Nadine to whom I was also close. Even when we sat and watched tv together. Or the times I would come in from work and go straight to bed and she would check on me to see if I was alright -I never said anything. I guess because no one in my family ever talked about being depressed or blue, not to me anyway. I felt like I was the only one who had this monkey on my back. If there was someone with depression – I never heard about it. I was considered the black sheep of the family, so maybe that’s why I didn’t talk about it.
According to mentalhealthamerican.net the myths and stigma that surround depression create needless pain and confusion, and can keep people from getting proper treatment. The following statements reflect some common misconceptions about African Americans and depression:
“Why are you depressed?
If our people could make it through slavery, we can make it through anything.”
“When a black woman suffers from a mental disorder, the opinion is that she is weak. And weakness in black women is intolerable.”
“You should take your troubles to Jesus, not some stranger/psychiatrist.”
Shauna Curphey, a WeNews correspondent wrote in an article about depression and black women - In California, African American women have the shortest life expectancy among women of all racial and ethnic groups in the state. They also have the highest mortality rate for heart disease and stroke and the highest prevalence of high blood pressure and obesity. Recent research indicates that mental health plays a role in these health disparities in California--and across the nation. But while many black women know and discuss the threats to their physical health, when it comes to mental health, there's silence and inaction.
Latonya Slack, executive director of the California Black Women's Health Project, an Inglewood, Calif., community-health organization, says "There's a fear of putting our business in the street . . . of somehow revealing too much.”
Lorraine Cole, president of the Black Women's Health Imperative, the Washington, D.C.-based parent organization of the California Black Women's Health Project, agrees. "There's a deep-seated feeling that seeking professional help is a sign of weakness," she said.
Slack and Cole, both African American women, have lead efforts to address the physical, mental and spiritual health needs of black women. Both have commissioned studies that revealed many black women are struggling with mental health issues but are not seeking professional help. They and others see improving black women's access to mental health treatment as a crucial element to addressing the serious, but often manageable, illnesses plaguing their physical health.
One study found that the proportion of African Americans who feared mental-health treatment was more than twice that of whites, according to the surgeon general's report. Part of the fear stems from wariness of the medical establishment that arises from past abuses, said Slack, such as the Tuskegee experiment. (In 1932, the federal government sponsored a study to examine the impact of untreated syphilis involving black men. The experiment went on until 1972 without the test subjects' knowledge and most of the subjects died without receiving treatment.)
As a result of the distrust engendered by the now-infamous experiment and the stigma associated with seeking help, many black women rely on spiritual leaders and community members to handle personal problems. There's also an added pressure from the ethic of the strong black woman, a cultural value that promotes toughness and self-sacrifice. "There are so many women who are not diagnosed or are under-diagnosed who are just existing on a thread," Slack concluded. " . . . They think 'My mother suffered. My grandmother suffered. It's just the lot of black women in America. It doesn't have to be that way."

Jingle Hell

Jingle Hell

I hate the holidays! I mean I love the fact that we celebrate Jesus’ birthday, but the holidays are so commercial and overwrought. It can be depressing and stressful even for those who don’t have depression, but it’s a double whammy for those us who do. For me, the holidays often are a cold, harsh, jingle bell reminder that I am single, with no significant other in my life. The print ads, television commercials, and billboards – even the movies – depict happy families decorating the tree, opening their xmas presents, playing in the snow - all emphasize couples, family, children, togetherness, and love. All of which just makes me feel even lonelier.

According to Mayo Clinic.com, there are certain triggers that bring about depression or make it worse during the holidays:

Relationships: Relationships can cause turmoil, conflict or stress at any time. But tensions are often heightened during the holidays. Family misunderstandings and conflicts can intensify — especially if you're all thrust together for several days. Conflicts are bound to arise with so many different personalities, needs and interests. On the other hand, if you're facing the holidays without a loved one, you may find yourself especially lonely or sad.

Finances: Like your relationships, your financial situation can cause stress at any time of the year. But overspending during the holidays on gifts, travel, food and entertainment can increase stress as you try to make ends meet while ensuring that everyone on your gift list is happy. You may find yourself in a financial spiral that leaves you with depression symptoms such as hopelessness, sadness and helplessness.

Physical demands: The strain of shopping, attending social gatherings and preparing holiday meals can wipe you out. Feeling exhausted increases your stress, creating a vicious cycle. Exercise and sleep — good antidotes for stress and fatigue — may take a back seat to chores and errands. High demands, stress, lack of exercise, and overindulgence in food and drink — all are ingredients for holiday illness.

Mayo Clinic.com Tips to Prevent Holiday Stress and Depression

Seek Support – If you are feeling down or isolated – seek out friends and family, community or religious avenues. Consider volunteering your time this season. Helping others can lift your spirits as well as others.

Be Realistic - As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Hold on to those you can and want to. But accept that you may have to let go of others.

Set differences aside - Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don't live up to all your expectations. Practice forgiveness. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. With stress and activity levels high, the holidays might not be conducive to making quality time for relationships. And be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they're feeling the effects of holiday stress and depression, too.

Stick to a budget - Before you go shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend on gifts and other items. Then be sure to stick to your budget.

Plan ahead - Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make one big food-shopping trip.

Learn to say no - Believe it or not, people will understand if you can't do certain projects or activities. If you say yes only to what you really want to do, you'll avoid feeling resentful, bitter and overwhelmed. If it's really not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.

Don't abandon healthy habits - Don't let the holidays become a dietary free-for-all. Some indulgence is OK, but overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt. Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you don't go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks. Continue to get plenty of sleep and schedule time for physical activity.

Take a breather - Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Steal away to a quiet place, even if it's to the bathroom for a few moments of solitude. Take a walk at night and stargaze. Listen to soothing music. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring inner calm.

Rethink resolutions - Resolutions can set you up for failure if they're unrealistic. Don't resolve to change your whole life to make up for past excess. Instead, try to return to basic, healthy lifestyle routines. Set smaller, more specific goals with a reasonable time frame. Choose only those resolutions that help you feel valuable and that provide more than only fleeting moments of happiness.

Seek professional help if you need it - Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for several weeks, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional. You may have depression.

Let's Get Real!

Let’s get real sistuhs!
We don’t like to talk about depression. We avoid dealing with it by eating and drinking too much; smoking weed or crack; working too many hours; and engaging in promiscuous or unsafe sex –to ease our pain, anxiety, frustration, and rage.
The stressors –
Hostile environments on the job, raising children, keeping our husbands or partners happy, and paying bills.
And yet we suffer.
From diabetes, obesity, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, and sleep disorders. We need to start dealing with this silent epidemic that is killing us. Because, depression doesn’t go away on its own. It might let up for a minute. It may temporarily go away, but when it comes back-it comes back with a vengeance.
Get help!
Find a therapist. Some therapists take insurance, others work on a sliding fee scale. Try a teaching hospital. I received excellent care from resident doctors at an outpatient clinic of a teaching hospital.
You may have to go on medication. That’s ok too! The combination of therapy and medication is best for getting yourself stabilized. We also need to get past the shame and guilt our community has put on us for seeking help. Unfortunately, too many of us have equated depression as a white man’s disease. It’s a human disease! It crosses all races, ages, cultures, and socioeconomic lines. Give yourself permission to get healthy –physically, psychologically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally.
It’s your life!

Carmen

Ebb and Tide

It slowly rises like a specter -
I feel myself drowning in its murky grey dense aura.
Tears fall inexplicably
Irritation erupts.
Depression is like the ebb and tide of the ocean.
Tumultuous.
Placid.
Angry.
Serene.
I can't concentrate.
Too depressed to pray or meditate.
Hopelessness reigns.
I curse the lack of serotonin in my brain that causes this demon to show its face to me.

Carmen

It Waits

It lies just beneath the surface.
Waiting.
Waiting patiently.
Occasionally erupting – revealing its demon face.
Then it disappears until something sets it off again.
It never seems to go away for good.
Not on its own.
Waiting.
Just waiting.
It is called Depression.
Depression has come back to haunt me again.
I thought I had whipped it.
Cast it into the sewers of Manhattan.
Flung it against the rocks of the Ramble of Central Park
or
drop kicked it onto the subway tracks in Times Square.
But, it was waiting for the day life trips me up.
Again.
That was the day I was laid off from my job.
Oh, I played it off at first.
I went to Jezebel’s that night and had a couple of Bellini’s to celebrate my freedom.
But Monday loomed ahead and I suddenly felt lost again.
What was I going to do with my days?
I dread New York City summers.
I detest the heat, humidity, the stank odors that rises from the concrete.
I welcome the rains and storms that sweep the streets and sidewalks clean, sweeten the air, and cool the summer heat.
So, I wasn’t looking forward to another summer with no job to go to.
I found myself sleeping until noon,
watched the judges tell off people standing in front of them, surfed the net,
and played solitaire and scrabble on my computer until I'm crossed eyed.
I don’t go to bed until 4 or 5 in the morning.
And I won’t go out until the sun goes down and the night air has cooled.
But now the demon has shown it's face again.

Carmen